


I love you despite the warning signs

by Luna_Arsenica



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, Sibling Incest, Spoilers for Part 4, lots of mixed feelings, set is only mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-10-03 17:35:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20456804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luna_Arsenica/pseuds/Luna_Arsenica
Summary: Why can't he just give up on Set? Nagi has been through the same strenuous feelings and the magical experience of thinking he's free many times now, but the moment his brother shows the slightest remorse, the tiniest speck of goodwill and love for him, all of his certainty turns to dust and disappears in the air, the same treacherous air that feels sweet in his lungs at the hope that he's truly loved.------(short thing in which Nagi thinks about his disastrous relationship with Set)





	I love you despite the warning signs

Every cell in his body, and at least most of his soul, agrees that he doesn't deserve what he gets from his brother. His heart is shouting that Set doesn't deserve  _ him _ , not after all he's done... so what part of him is the one whispering to give him another chance?

Why can't he just give up on Set? Nagi has been through the same strenuous feelings and the magical experience of thinking he's free many times now, but the moment his brother shows the slightest remorse, the tiniest speck of goodwill and love for him, all of his certainty turns to dust and disappears in the air, the same treacherous air that feels sweet in his lungs at the hope that he's truly loved.

Nagi isn't stupid. Every time it happens, feeling happy about reconciliation is harder - lately, it just makes him feel trapped in an endless loop of hurt, fake love and more hurt.

It would be much easier if he could just convince that part of himself that insists on loving Set to let go, to forget the smiles he gave him and all the love from the past. It wasn't Nagi that stopped deserving them, Set was just meant to hate him eventually.

But the more he repeats that it was going to happen one day, that Set's love for him had an expiration date (just like his love for anything else in the wor- ...  _ oh _ ), the more that part of himself that longs for it hides, unwilling to be uprooted and exiled from Nagi.

"This is abuse" he says, and that tiny voice replies "But we love him"

and Nagi breaks again.

He isn't even sure what it is that he feels anymore, yet that part of him is sure it's called  _ 'love' _ . Nagi wants to scream  _ 'love' _ is something much more pure than that, that if he doesn't know what to call it anymore it's Set's fault for manipulating him for so long that he doesn't even know if Nagi's love for him is real or just the subtle programming his heart underwent for years-

... he just doesn't want to give up, but Nagi isn't sure anymore about  _ what _ .

If only he knew if kissing him ever meant something to Set, if he meant anything he said while they made love, or anything he said later (or ever at all).

If only he could convince himself that even if it did, it was all in the past and it wasn't going to be the same ever again. It wasn't the same for Nagi after all the pain, constantly wondering what to do to make his dear brother happy.

It's not even his opinion, it's a fact that they could have been happy if Set only knew what he even wanted from Nagi. He had always been ready to do whatever he asked.

But all that Nagi has left now is the many scars in his heart screaming to run away, to stay as far as possible. To never give it back to Set.

**Author's Note:**

> Tittle from the Troubled birds series, and also the fic was totally based on that phrase bc hey.
> 
> I continue to write long headcanons but well, hope at least you're enjoying them


End file.
